What I learned from a tumor: a new series

I am starting to write this new series of posts to give a little inside view of our lives over the last 2 years. I have had a few people start to ask about the experience we have had with Jeff's brain tumour and I guess I haven't really talked about it because I just told myself people went all that interested. I was wrong. So every few weeks I will have a new post about what I have learned from the experience and I guess along with that will come a little more detail about the medical side of Jeff's brain. I also realized as I was reading through my old posts I underplayed A LOT of what was happening with us.
 It has been about 2 years since the world as Jeff and I knew it changed drastically. In February 2010, we had just found out I was pregnant with our first child. We were excited to start a family and we had plans for the future. It was fun to think about how things were going to change and what we needed to do to prepare. Jeff had been having issues with his vision (needing 3 prescription changes within 1 year) and he also had trouble with his attention and memory. After struggling with doctors to figure out what was wrong I finally told Jeff to demand a CT scan. The CT was booked for March 5th. To be honest I didn't really think about what the scan might show and although I had been telling him for a year I thought he had a brain tumour I never really thought about the true impact that would have on our family. The day of the scan Jeff called me and told me he needed to find someone to give him a ride home since he wouldn't be allowed to drive. I figured it was because of a medication they had given him to do the test or something. What I didn't know was he had had an emergency MRI done just minutes after his CT scan and when I got there the tech wanted to talk to us both. He pulled up the images and explained that Jeff had a significantly sized mass in the centre of his brain. He also explained that he had never seen a mass that size in someone who was walking or talking let alone drove themselves to the appointment. We were to expect a phone call from a Neuro surgeon in Calgary ASAP. We talked to a surgeon and he told us the expert in cases like this was gone for the weekend and wouldn't be back until monday but to hang tight because if he has gone this long with a tumour he would be ok for another weekend. Jeff immediately withdrew from school and we waited for news as to what the game plan was. Since Jeffs case was so rare, our very competent and amazing Neuro-Surgeon had to consult doctor after doctor to finally decide on plan of action. They would take out as much of the mass as possible but prognosis was impossible to give due to the rarity of the case. Our world was slowly crashing down on us and waiting with an unknown future was the hardest part. There were many times when Jeff and I would fight because I thought he wasnt worried enough and he was really broken inside just not wanting to show it. He tried to stay strong as I fell apart around him but we would both end up crying in each others arms.

With that, I learned my husband is the most important person in my life. They say, you dont know what you have until it gets taken away, but the threat of Jeff being taken from me was enough for me to realize how important he was. I feel such heatache for those who have lost their loved one and know that I have never felt the extent of their pain. I thank Heavenly Father every night for the oppertunity I have to lay down beside my husband and know we are safe together for another night. I plead for him to be safe when he is away, and I feel a stronger joy when we are together. Without the heartache of a brain tumour, I dont think I would treasure those moments quite as much.